Caregivers

Caregivers are a little gift from the Universe! Wait. Not little. H.U.G.E gift from the universe!

When I moved my parents down from Amarillo, Dad was bored. He didn't know what to do with himself. He couldn't safety drive himself around and Mom had no interest in driving around a new town. The last time they did, they lost the keys to the car, called the police, to find the keys in mom's pocket. So no more driving.

During my research of Alzheimer's and assisted living, memory cares, etc, I attended a seminar hosted by a caregiver company. When my parents moved down here, we scheduled a meeting with the social worker for the caregiver company who met with Mom and Dad to determine our needs and Dad's interests to best find someone for him. We determined Dad needed to get out of the house three times a week to go explore and Mom desperately needed time by herself. I took Dad out on adventures many evenings during the week  and on the weekend.

The caregivers through this company were lovely ladies who did have training on how to work with individuals with Alzheimer's and they provided a good outlet for my parents. However, Dad's Alzheimer's progressed to where he needed interaction throughout the day, every day,  so I moved him over to the AGE's Adult Daycare. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Yes, the doors were locked to prevent wandering, but the staff was amazing and the provided a wide range of activities and meals. The facility was close to my work so in the morning after I dropped of my girls at daycare, I picked Dad at his apartment, dropped off Dad at AGE, went to work, picked up Dad at AGE, picked up the girls at daycare, dropped off Dad at his apartment, and then went home. Whew.

http://ageofcentraltx.org/

Once Mom had her hospitalization in October 2013 and we determined she could not live independently, we moved them into the memory care and the need for caregivers ceased. Until Mom moved in with us here.

As much as I love being a caregiver and I love being at home, I cannot be everything to everyone. On my morning walks, I do ask the universe to help me keep Jon, Grace, Caroline, and my Mom's love tanks full with acts of service, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch. And I try. I really do. But I am human and I can only do so much. Jon and the girls get social interaction throughout the day, but the only social interaction Mom gets is with me. And it can be exhausting, to be honest. Happily, by the grace of this beautiful universe, we have an amazing caregiver for Mom! Leslee takes Mom out once a week for a meal and social interaction! Sometimes they go to the bookstore or do other little shopping and they really enjoy each other! Leslee has also been available to spend the night so that we can go out of town. Mom's personal trainer (whom I will write about next week) is also a caregiver at a memory care and is available to assist us as well which is a huge blessing!

Moving Mom in with us definitely clipped my wings and thankfully with the help of caregivers, I do get some respite. Respite for caregivers is very, very important! As with motherhood, if you want to take care of others, you must be able to take care of yourself first.

We have been fortunate to have a resource of caregivers from the memory care but I have signed up for care.com if I ever need assistance. We have used it several times for babysitters for the girls and will do so if we need assistance with Mom.

https://www.care.com/

If you are in need of caregivers, find them and use them! They are worth their weight in gold! We cannot be everything to everyone and sometimes our love tanks need to be filled too with a little time to ourselves!

Caregivers are trained in a variety of skills from dispensing medicine to helping with bathing and pottying to light housework. Whatever you need to do, they can help. Don't try to do it all by yourself!

If you do not have a local caregiver company or an adult daycare provided by a respectable organization, call the local memory cares or assisted living as most offer respite care, to include overnight stays. Also, you can find amazing caregivers through these memory cares. These folks have already been background checked and know how to assist with physical transfers from the bed to the toilet, etc.

Similar to my post on checking out memory cares, watch the caregivers with your person. Are they kind? Are they loving? Do they know how to redirect the person? Do they treat people with respect and dignity? Can you trust this person in your home and with your person?

Some caregivers connected with Dad and some did not. That is human nature. Your gut will help you make the right decision. But don't do this alone.